SPAGHETTI SUCKS
SPAGHETTI IS THE WORST PASTA SHAPE EVER. IF YOU ARE SKILLFUL ENOUGH TO MANAGE THE BALANCING ACT OF GETTING SOME OF IT ON YOUR FORK IT SPLASHES SAUCE ALL OVER THE PLACE. ALL OVER THE TABLE, YOUR CLOTHES, YOUR PETS. AND WHAT SAUCE DO WE PAIR WITH THIS SPLASHY DISASTER? THE KIND THAT STAINS.
PASTA SHAPES THAT ARE BETTER THAN SPAGHETTI:
 rigatoni |
 fusilli |
 penne |
 radiatori |
 ziti |
 gnocchi |
 farfalle |
 casarecce |
 ravioli |
 tortellini |
 stelline |
 cavatappi |
 conchiglie |
 rotelle |
 gemelli |
 macaroni |
 lasagna |
 acini di pepe |
 trofie |
 cannelloni |
AND WHAT ABOUT THE MEATBALL?
THE MEATBALL IS A BEAUTIFUL INVENTION. THE PERFECT WAY TO TOP A PLATE OF PERFECT PASTA. AND YET WE RESERVE IT FOR THE MOST HORRIBLE PASTA SHAPE. DOES THE MEATBALL SITTING SO DELICATELY ATOP MY SPAGHETTI SERVE AS A GENTLE APOLOGY FOR THE EXCRUCIATING DINING EXPERIENCE I AM ABOUT TO EMBARK ON?
WHY IS THE INNOCENT MEATBALL SO UNWELCOME ON PLATES OF OTHER PASTA SHAPES? DO THEY NOT DESERVE A MEATY COMPAINION?